Can You Say More With Questions?
For those of us who earn our living as “independent professionals,” we survive on our ability to help, inspire, educate, or entertain others. People come to us for information or advice.
Can we help more by asking questions instead of making statements? I think very often the answer is yes.
What if, instead of suggesting that a client try something a certain way, we asked instead: “What might happen if you tried it this way? What might it look like? What could be the result?
I believe we get twice the use out of a question as we do from a suggestion:
1. Your suggestion is heard less defensively as a curiosity question instead of a suggestion. The listener can almost always let in an idea more easily if it is couched as a genuine question.
(Never say: “Why don’t you do such and such.” That is often heard as judgement or a suggestion, not a genuine question.)
2. When your question is received, it can trigger a thinking process that gives you more information about your client. Plus, they can add their own ideas to yours and the outcome becomes stronger for them. As they consider the answer to your question, their mind creates a scenario that incorporates your idea into their world.
I have been amazed at the power of this process. For me, it has the benefits of
- strengthening our relationship,
- empowering the client, and
- creating much better solutions.
What kinds of questions have you found to be most useful?
What are the times that a question would probably not be a good idea?
Ed,
As the others have commented this post was so timely! I greatly appreciate the reminder to get back to the basics…well timed and thoughtful questions that provoke greater insight on the part of my clients are essential. It also helps me to step out always feeling like I have to have an answer – AND, it makes the consulting/coaching process more of a mutual learning experience for me and the client. Thanks! Deb
Deb,
I totally agree that the best consulting/coaching processes are collaborative and I keep learning how valuable it is to pause and ask questions.
Ed
And, sometimes, just sometimes, by asking a question, and “teaching your client how to fish”, you are able to completely fulfill your consulting or service obligation – the ultimate goal and best outcome for all!
Nicely said, Ed.
Sammy,
It’s hard for me not to want to “give more” by giving more advice. It takes courage to ask a question and then just “wait.” And to consider an engagement fulfilled simply by asking questions could be the ultimate!
Thanks for your input. –Ed
This reminder about questions was so timely for me Ed! Thank you. I used it immediately in my coaching session with a client Monday and she said she was building a foundation for herself! Terrific. I then thought I would read up on circular questioning again, and purposefully focus on all kinds of questioning with my clients over the next 4 weeks or so as a mindful expansion of my own coaching capacity.
Romi,
I think the coach’s best tool is a well-crafted question. Great idea to spend a month exercising your questioning talents!
–Ed